What is positivity? 

At the first BEC breakfast of the year we had Elizabeth Carter from Bravo Communications speak about positivity and it got me thinking, what is positivity? So I've put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard in my case) and put down a few thought I would like to share with you. It's considered normal to think that the way we feel is a result of whether good or bad things have happened to us. But in reality, the way we think about events is more important than the events themselves.

The things that happen in our lives are not necessarily good or bad in themselves; it's just the way we think about them that makes them either positive or negative. Thinking positively is not always easy. When things are not going our way, or something unsettling happens to us, it is much too easy to start feeling down about everything.

However, positive thinking is a skill that can be learned, because traditionally most of our behaviours are learned, so why can't we un-learn them? When I'm with a client I like to talk about what their focus is. If they are down and that is all they focus on then it is just common sense that this is what they will get in spades. If they are suffer from chronic pain, they can become the pain and their lives revolve around that pain.

Remember "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." The trouble with positive thinking is that as your anxiety levels go up, it's harder to sustain this belief. The more you doubt it, the angrier, depressed, anxious or frustrated you become. So what can we do about it? Break it down and KISS (keep it simple silly). Don't try to focus on things that are not there. Be grateful for the small things that are. Sometimes it can be as small as "Thank goodness I made it through that day". Or "I'm grateful I had a big lunch now I don't have to cook dinner because I'm exhausted." Another way is by using positive affirmation.

Below are a few examples you can use or modify:

Good affirmation:I am a positive person

Better: I am proud and happy now that I am a positive person

Best: I am bubbling with pride and flushed with happiness now that I am a positive person

How to Make a Positive Affirmation? 

The most effective positive affirmations have these characteristics:

• They are in the first person
• They are in the now
• They are pertinent and relevant to you and your life
• They are vivid and alive
• They are result oriented
• They are concise

Your affirmation should describe the positive end result you desire and have a clear picture of the end goal. I put mine up on the bathroom mirror so I notice it & say it daily.

More the more you say it the strong the belief becomes."The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his or her life by altering his or her attitudes," said William James. Daily use of positive affirmations is a form of attitude training that can convert an habitual negative thinker to a positive thinker.

Affirmations should be a part of every personal growth plan. There is a positive affirmation website. 

I use http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/ In closing I would like to leave you with a quote I have just found very apt: "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door we don't see the one that has been opened for us" ~ Helen Keller.

About the Author

I am a qualified, registered & insured counsellor practicing in the southern suburbs of Sydney Australia. I have been seeing individuals, couples and families for a variety of difficulties from relationship and communication issues to self esteem and grief problems.