Confidence is a key element to empowerment

If you can't speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.

Not the "fake it 'till you make it" to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment. I'm referring to knowing that you know that the "real you" is already ok, just because you breathe. The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.

We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency - the old paradigm of selfishness and "survival of the fittest". This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way. We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience "reality" is based on your perceptual system. How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.

And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind. So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down? Aren't we taught that this is "humble"? Isn't it "pride" to think good of yourself? Isn't it "narcissistic"?

Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity. When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people. Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the "founders" of our country had it correct when they said, "all men (and women) are created equal".

When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the "stories" of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small. These stories that you've wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.

In the meantime, rejecting yourself will only keep you stuck. Why or how does this work?

Here are 3 reasons why self-love is not narcissism and why you want to convert to self-love and stop putting yourself down.

1. Narcissism by definition is rooted in fear and judgment. It is seeking hierarchy and "power over" others based on comparison and disrespect. When we come from "I am better than you" or "my needs are most important - period", we are coming from lack. Often, low self-esteem and self-absorption based on this is the cause of narcissism.

2. Self-love stems from awareness of the Divine spirit that is within you and the source of life itself. It has to do with respect for self and all of life and just acknowledges the gift of life that you are. It is compassionate and says, "I'm growing" and I can see the abundance in light in life, instead of coming from a place of fear and lack. It is giving our self space to grow and expand without shame and guilt - which are the two "terrorizing twins" that keep us playing small and losing in life. Love grows and expands us; fear constricts.

3. One cannot rise above and stay above their self-image. Your brain seeks to make you "right" in the way that you really "see" yourself (self-image). When I lived in self-rejection, I used sheer will power to push my way to my goals in the hopes of finding abundance and peace. What I realized is that self-sabotage, in its many forms (even Tiger had to learn this one), will kick in if you do not deal with the "blind spots" that distort your self-image in a proactive way. Also, be informed that negative self-talk has been shown to provoke the stress response in your body and stress accounts for up to 90% of primary care doctor visits. Your subconscious mind is going to show you via the Mirror of Life what you REALLY believe about yourself and life.

In this time of change there is also great opportunity for growth. The more you embrace who you are, with love and compassion, the more likely you are to be kind and accepting of others. This is a winning formula for success as when you feel deserving of success, you can stop all of the procrastination and confusion around your business success, relationships and you are even likely to stay healthier and have more life energy.

Core confidence can only come from the inside out when you make the time to consider - and love - who you really are.

About the Author

Valencia Ray MD helps women entrepreneurs and professionals to eliminate blind spots that block their true potential and limits their vision for business success, happy relationships and good health. Every week she gives uncommon tips and strategies in her Mind Muscle Minutes and blog, to expand your vision for your business, relationships and a healthy lifestyle, and how to make it happen! You can claim your free reports and learn more at http://www.ValenciaRay.com.