Emotional Health & Wellbeing
Don't believe everything you think
I found a great little sign in Martha's vineyard this summer. It reads, "Don't believe everything you think". As a multi-tasking entrepreneur, I am definitely prone to being in my head too much, or as my yoga teacher wisely refers to it, my "monkey mind." If we believed every thought that crossed our mind, or reacted to everything we think, most of us would surely live in a constant state of chaos and unhappiness.
One thing I now know for sure is that the quality of your thoughts and feelings will determine the caliber of your life in general. The universe will return your joy, confidence and happiness to you; and it will return your fear, anger and envy as well.
Think of yourself as a mini radio station. You are constantly broadcasting signals about yourself to the world. The people and situations that match those signals are the ones that will tune in and become a part of your life experience. Some refer to this as "chemistry", but it's actually the resonance of your own personal energy that has been created by your thoughts and feelings.
"What really makes you tick?" - 10 questions you should ask to yourself
I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed. Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.
So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks or can they?
Yes by all means have a gratitude list, I do and go through it every day
Most people have read or at least heard of the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I think the basic premise is a fantastic idea, however I believe it leaves out a key ingredient, which without it causes the philosophy to flounder. It's like baking a cake and forgetting to turn on the oven. That key ingredient is, you have to be proactive in getting what you want.
By that I mean go out and drive your life. Yes by all means have a gratitude list, I do and go through it every day, but also go out and put your energy into making it happen.
Think of your life as a bus and you are the driver of that bus. Your hands are on the wheel and your feet are on the pedals. What direction do you think your main focus should be? If you said anything but forward you'd be wrong. Yes you have to look left, right and behind, but primarily you need to be looking forward.
If you're constantly looking back in your life at what has happened to you in the past then you're missing out on the here and now and all the wonderful opportunities that are right in front of you and your bus.
I had a client recently who I would definitely call a people pleaser
He was a very good-looking man, intelligent, articulate and a hard work. His problem was that he would continually ring his partner, wanting to know what she was doing. His partner was at the end of her tether and had had enough, so he came back to counselling. He also had no idea of how he felt or what he wanted in life, apart from being happy. He had no idea how to get there.
One of my first questions to him was did he trusted his partner, his answer was yes, implicitly. So why was he obsessed with her movements & who she was with? It all comes down to trust. He had learnt at an early age that love was fleeting. His father was in the armed forces, so the family moved around a lot & his father spent a lot of time away from home. His mother was a caring woman, however when his father came home the two boys were no longer their mothers only priority and so they felt abandoned. My client carried that into his adult relationships. He was very needy, he had a compulsive need to constantly check that he was still loved.
Hoarding - secret squalor
No one answered when I tapped on the front door which was slightly ajar. As I stepped inside the home of my very first hoarding client, stifling air and bad smell hit me.
Thick dust covered everything. Papers were stacked and piled everywhere. The floor appeared to be made of dirt. On closer inspection, the carpet had turned to dust. Suddenly, from behind a cluttered pile on the kitchen table, a petite, perfectly coiffed elderly lady in a lavender sweater set and pearl necklace stepped out...
What is Hoarding?
I am not a mental health professional so I can't make a clinical diagnosis. But I can tell you what I have seen and what it looks like to me. I can also share with you my considered opinion of what causes it from the perspective of a person who sees hoarding on a regular basis, not from a tidy therapist's office but from the real, down and very dirty places where hoarders live.