Now that I have your attention I would like to talk about the difference between what floats men and women's boats

 

I have this theory that women don't have enough passion in their life (and I'm not talking about the bedroom). When men are boys they have passion for their mates, footy, cricket, BMX bikes, motorbikes, surfing, you name it, they have a passion for it. When women are girls they have Barbie, horses, netball etc.

As we all grow up, traditionally for men, their passions stay the same and they add girls, yippee. Girls on the other hand traditionally drop their passion and boys become their main focus, and this doesn't change. Boys integrate girls into their lives, girls make boys their life. When a relationship fails boys still have their passions, girls have to find a new passion, until the next guy comes along.

Yes I know I'm generalising however it is pretty accurate if you think about yourself, your children, nieces and nephews. Women need  more passion in their lives outside their relationship and I don't mean having an affair. Women who have horses, for example, traditionally lead a happy more fulfilled life because they bring something new into the relationship when they come home from the stables. When women have an outside interest they bring new people into the circle, new conversations, new interests.

This can bring a new spark to their relationship too. Women who play netball or volunteer at a nursing home have the same feelings. They feel more fulfilled, content; they find it easier to cope with the family and their lives.

We as women have learnt that we put everyone else before ourselves and we have to start to change that. If we do we become better wives, mothers, lovers, employees, employers, friends. Start by doing something for yourself, not to the detriment of your relationship or family, but something that you've always wanted to do, but have never done because you didn't feel you could. If you want a better relationship from now on and into the future find a passion, start a group for like-minded people. Start a movie group. Start a book group. The list is endless and the choice is yours.

If you want to read a great book about this then grab a copy of The Bitch Rules by Elizabeth Wurtzel. It's only a small book but has some very interesting theories in it. It's well worth the read.

The quote I would like to leave you with today is:

If hunger isn't the problem, then eating isn't the solution - ask yourself what am I hungry for?

 

About the Author

I am a qualified, registered & insured counsellor practicing in the southern suburbs of Sydney Australia. I have been seeing individuals, couples and families for a variety of difficulties from relationship and communication issues to self esteem and grief problems.