To Forgive Or Not to Forgive - That Is The Question!
Empowerment is so elusive for so many people because they do not understand principles are at work all the time - whether you believe it or not!
Take the Law of Gravity. You can say you do not believe in the Law, or that you think whatever it is that you think about the law - it does not matter because the bottom line is, if you jump off of your roof, you are going down!
I read an interesting discussion somewhere this week that discussed the issue of forgiveness. In summary, the author was asking the question about whether forgiving someone is necessary or really valid. On the table was also the issue of whether or not forgiveness is even possible. I had the sense that the perspective was, as it is so often, that forgiveness was for the perpetrator, versus the "victim".
This issue about who is forgiveness for is the point of confusion that leads to the downfall of so many people. Forgiveness as a benefit is NOT for the perpetrator - it is for the person who feels wronged! "What?" you may ask. "How so"?
Forgiveness is of extreme importance for you, the person who feels harmed. Holding a grudge against someone is quite literally like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. When you hold unforgiveness and bitterness in your heart, you are setting yourself up to recycle negative energy in your body at a cellular level.
It has been shown in medical studies, that bitterness and chronically held anger is associated with such diseases as chronic arthritis and cancer, just to name a few. When we self-righteously hold someone else in bondage within our own minds, we poison our own bodies. I say "self-righteous" because if you are past the age of two, you probably have made mistakes somewhere with someone, in some relationship.
Also, this is how "button pushing" gets set up. The very things that we feel like a victim over, we are likely to react vehemently in future similar situations that remind us of our previous wound. Also, have you ever noticed that many self-righteous people often commit the same crimes that they are judging someone else for?
In psychology, this is known as "Projection". Until we heal the parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with, we tend to look for these same flaws in others and point them out so that we can unconsciously take the focus off of our own issue. It's the "I would never do such a thing" point of view. Well, keep living. Hopefully you won't, but life is full of surprises. By the Grace of God, you may escape certain experiences. Compassion for others makes this possibility more likely.
The problem of course is this behavior keeps our own weaknesses alive and well. While we cannot control others, if we really want to be powerful personally, that is empowered, we have to "shake the dust off our feet", learn how to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness does not mean that you have to continue to allow the other person into your world.
Please notice also, that I am not saying that it is easy. I am saying for certain, that it is possible. By forgiving them, you take away the power of the negative memory to hold your energy in bondage to painful drama memories that will only cause further destruction in your own spirit, mind, emotions and physical body. The need to forgive in order to live free of pain and unhappiness yourself, is a principle.
You choose, for empowerment is a choice!
About the Author
Valencia Ray MD is a speaker, writer and coach with a focus on integrating Neuroscience with Personal Development. Her message is filled with the inspiration and wisdom you need to rediscover your passion and create a life you love.Website: http://www.ValenciaRay.com