Mirror, Mirror on the Wall - Why Compare Myself At All?
If confidence and self-esteem does not come from the inside out, we are bound to seek it from outside in
This is a never-ending bottomless pit. Who cares, you may ask. Why even concern yourself with confidence or self-esteem issues?
Well, for one thing, what the French author Anais Nin said many years ago is true:
"We don't see things the way they are; we see them as we are".
You will not ever really rise above your own self-image. You may outwardly look pretty good, but inside, you won't have peace of mind if you are always comparing your sense of self-worth, or even your material possessions to someone else.
This behavior often also impacts your attitude and the altitude that you rise to in life. You will always find someone who has more or less than you in some area. This is true whether the comparison is love, money, beauty or intelligence.
The answer is not in finding someone less than you to make you feel good about yourself. The answer is to learn how to love and accept yourself independent of the world around you. I had someone ask me recently in regard to her thoughts about feeling inadequate, "what if what they say is correct"?
Here's my short answer. Everyone has their opinion and most of it is just a projection onto you of their own self-judgment. You see, what you do is not the same as who you are in your essence. What you do does reveal your character at the moment and it does reflect your level of consciousness, but consciousness shifts. What you do changes.
Even the roles you play changes. The external world is constantly shifting and changing. The key to personal power and peace of mind is to learn how to separate who you know you are from who you THINK you are.
You are not your thoughts, strictly speaking. Thoughts are limiting, defining perceptions created by your linear "logical" mind. Thoughts are really energy/information that is interpreted based on the way you have wired your nervous system. It's like the paint on the artist's palette that draws and colors the picture; but it is only a picture, and not the ultimate truth.
Feelings come and go and they create experience in your body. The trick is to recognize these passing thoughts and feelings as human experiences, a part of the drama of life. If you can experience without attaching your very sense of identity to the experience, then you can live a life of self-mastery. It's when we connect our sense of identity, our need for love, security and self-esteem with fear and the need to control and feel safe outside of ourselves that we lose ourselves.
Our true identity, our Authentic Self is cannot be limited and defined, as it is spirit.
This is why a spiritual practice that elevates your awareness of your connection to Life is so important. When you can feel the love and light of the Universe in a personal way, you will not need to chase it down from others.
You will have more courage to learn and grow to expand your network and your business. You will become less "self" conscious and more aware of others and the opportunities all around you. The decrease in stress alone will help your body to feel healthier and stronger.
Not to mention how much more likely you are to experience happier, healthier relationships. How much nicer it is to look into the mirror with eyes of compassion and admiration for who God has created you, uniquely, to be.
When you can look into the Mirror of Life and have reflected back to you a life of passion, peace and prosperity, you will know that you are now seeing clearly within the vision for your life that allows you to shine. One that gives and receives and allows you to lead a life that is well lived.
How you see yourself, your sense of self-esteem, does impact your confidence and how you lead your life and it all begins from inside out.
About the Author
Valencia Ray MD helps women entrepreneurs and professionals to eliminate blind spots that block their true potential and limits their vision for business success, happy relationships and good health. Every week she gives uncommon tips and strategies in her Mind Muscle Minutes and blog, to expand your vision for your business, relationships and a healthy lifestyle, and how to make it happen! You can claim your free reports and learn more at http://www.ValenciaRay.com.