10 Helpful Hints To Reduce The Inner Critical Voice
When it comes to being objective about what we look like we are our own worse enemy
We don't judge the people we love as harshly as we judge ourselves, so why do we do it and how can we stop?
The media bombards us with stereotypes such as "yummy mummys", "slim is beautiful", you know what I mean & as mere mortals it's near impossible to live up to these standards. We're not the celebrates in the magazines who have person trainers, chefs and dieticians on call 24/7, so how are we meant to succeed? We're doomed to failure.
Here are 10 helpful hints to reduce the critic inside - inner critical voice:
Don't depend on other people to make you feel worthy, it puts you in a no win situation. Once we "externally reference" how we feel we allow others to dictate our moods, thinking, decisions, everything.
Journal the good points about yourself. Think of what positive things other people have said about you, that you may not have believed, such as your generosity, your kindness, your thoughtfulness.
- Focus on your strengths not what you may perceive as your weaknesses.
Be yourself. If you think negatively about yourself that will come across to others. You may also over compensate for feeling "less than" others. You may buy a friend an expensive gift as a way of "buying" their affection and attention. This is very common with people who have low self-esteem.
- When someone compliments you be gracious about it, accept it with humility and don't poo poo them. You're worthy of being complimented.
Stop comparing yourself to others. We all look at people who are prettier, richer, more successful and want to be like them, however we can't. If the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, water your own lawn. In others words focus on what's good about you, visualise yourself reaching that goal you've set yourself.
- The truth is if we really feel good about how we look that comes across to others. Be aware of how powerful your own self-image is. If we focus only on our flaws then so will others, as that is all we show the world.
Start blocking out your inner critical voicecritic inside. Become aware of your , inner dialogue and notice how when it's really loud you're not feeling too good about yourself. Ask your self, "would I talk to a friend this way?" the answer is probably no. So why talk to yourself that way. Try when ever you hear the critic start up, replace what you're hearing with something positive about yourself.
- If you have particular outfits that you feel good in, then only wear them. Only buy cloths that are similar that you feel good in. If you're happy with the way you look then you will come across as self assured and authentic.
If you have negative people around you, avoid them. Negativity can rub off. Surround yourself with positive people. People who have a "glass half full" attitude instead of a "glass half empty" are much nicer to be around and the theory goes they actually live longer.
About the Author
I am a qualified, registered and insured counsellor practicing in the southern suburbs of Sydney. I have been seeing individuals, including women business owners, couples and families for over 5 years now for a variety of issues from relationship and communication problems to self esteem and grief difficulties. My website is www.TLCounselling.com.au if you wish to read more of my articles.