Family Matters Articles and Advice On How To Improve Marital and Family Relationships
Effective communication with your young child doesn't just happen as adults, we need to set the stage
In previous articles we've discussed that talking and listening are important. We also talked about the importance of sharing our adult control. There is another area to consider: focusing on strengths when communicating with your young child.
When we focus on the strengths of young children we encourage and support them in ways that opens up the channels to effective communication. We set the stage for children to want to communicate with us because we are building trust and establishing an emotional environment that is conducive to exploration and developing confidence.
What do we mean by "focusing on strengths" and how do we accomplish this?
This is the first article of a series on how to communicate with your young child
Young children live in a world of their own in so many ways. That world is delightful and filled with wonder. It enchants us. And, as parents of a first baby, as a new teacher, or as any adult who hasn't worked or lived much with young children, if we are honest, it can also be confusing. It's easy to mis-read the signals young children give us. It's easy for us to superimpose our perceptions, which are so different from those of young children. Studies show that effective adult-child communication helps children grow and develop. How to communicate effectively with our young children? How do we talk with our young children?
It's pretty simple, actually, and it requires both less and more of us than we think! What we need to do less of is talking. What we need to do more of is listening, watching, observing. When we observe our children and listen to them, they will tell us what they need, who they are, what they are interested in and how to respond to them. In doing this, we share our adult power and control and teach children early on how to be responsible partners in the world.
Sharing adult control helps your child to trust and become confident. It is in that emotional environment that effective communication and language will develop
Childhood memories. Do you remember a time in your childhood when some important and well meaning adult in your life, perhaps a parent or teacher, talked to you and took complete aharge of the situation the conversation?
I have clear memories of such instances, one of which involves an aunt that I loved dearly. When she took care of me she had many wonderful ideas of fun activities to do together but she would inevitably take over by telling me exactly how to do everything. One time when we were making Christmas cards together she gave me step by step directions of how to make the card, fold the paper, what colors to choose, how to paste the ribbons on, etc.
Baby boomers are often called the Sandwich Generation
They earned this moniker because they are often faced with caring not only for their children but their aging parents as well. I'd like to add another layer of cheese, tomato and lettuce, along with a slice of bread to this Sandwich, making Baby Boomers the new Club Sandwich Generation.
In this current economy, Generation X and Y children are moving back home in record numbers often with spouses and children in tow. Thus, Boomers are now often supporting three other generations not just two. What a fine development that has got us into!
One of my favorite organizing clients is the classic Sandwich Generation. One aging mom needs financial support. Then her son came home with wife and two children. His predatory lender had persuaded him into buying a house far beyond his means. Don't just get a loan to buy the house, suggested the lender, get some extra money to buy some fun stuff too.
As a divorce lawyer, I see a types of problems which lead to divorce
Divorce is a difficult and heartbreaking decision and is usually not reached until all other options have been exhausted. However, you can save your marriage even after a divorce is filed if you are willing to acknowledge and address the problems that lead to the divorce in the first place.
Here are some tips from an experienced divorce professional:
You might go through the motions - your mouth opens and you speak. But, communication is more than talking. Respectful and constructive communication is key. Some people shut down or don't make an effort to speak at all. Some spouses don't stop talking but don't really say anything.